Koinophobia Read online

I have always said that life is grand,

  But do not believe my lies, I want off this land

  I walk through life with a smile on my face,

  But please know that I do so only to hide my disgrace

  My days are filled with happy smiles,

  When, oh when will I be free from these trials

  A perfect life is what I seek,

  When people meet me, they say, "You reek!"

  We live in a world of light and colour,

  But to me each day it grows duller

  For those around me, I say don't worry,

  I can only hope that life is over in a hurry

  All in all, a blessed day awaits us,

  It will be over soon, so that's a plus

  So I say to you, have a wonderful day!

  Oh let this life of mine be over soon, let me pray!

  Alternate version:

  I have always said that life is grand,

  But truthfully life is neither grand nor fun

  I walk through it by dancing on the sand

  It burns us all, a flame born from the sun

  My days are filled with happy smiles

  Fake smiles for fake people, don't you think?

  They gather new friends from miles and miles

  Fake people always let their real faces show, just don't blink

  A perfect life is what I seek

  That is to say, short and quick

  I am many things but never meek

  If only because all of you make me sick

  We live in a world of light and colour

  A lie told, to hold the fear at bay

  Every single day it grows brighter, not duller

  Let the darkness come then, so I say

  For those around me I say don't worry

  We are all of us doomed, why fret?

  We aren't going anywhere in a hurry

  Although on that fact I will gladly bet

  All in all, a blessed day awaits us

  Blessed in that it must have an end

  Why stress at all, why the fuss?

  I mean, we are all wrapped around the bend

  So with all that out of the way

  I hope you are now as miserable as I

  I hope you have a wonderful day!

  Or not, if you can no longer bear the lie

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  Greatest

  I am the most of the most

  Listen here, and hear my boast

  I am the master of the roast

  Lord from coast to coast

  When I die, I will leave no ghost

  For I am a legend and dying is gross

  Everything I make is sweet, even toast

  Am I humble… Not even close

  For any party, I am always the host

  Of me, you will always need a daily dose

  You see, I am worth a hundred million grosz

  And now, I will end this poem with a ploce

  Always remember, I am the most of the most

  Everything I do is awesome, including this post

  Technical Aspect: Every rhyming word rhymes with the word “most”.

  Explanation: Greatest is one of poems that I really enjoyed writing. Additionally, it is one of the few poems that has a rhyming style evocative of a song (when I say it, I always do so thinking of it as a rap song). I chose the word “most” as it, ironically, is the word with the most rhymes in the English language. This is where the title comes from, as it is the greatest of all the rhyming words.

  And for those of you who don’t know:

  Grosz – Polish currency

  Ploce - A figure of speech in which a word is separated or repeated by way of emphasis

  Hey, the more you know, right?

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  Nothing Rhymes With Orange

  Why is no one’s favourite colour orange?

  I mean, it’s mine, and I was raised near Blorenge!

  But no, everyone instead prefers purple!

  Well I say that they have the same taste as a curple!

  You know, I once decided to make a film

  But now it sits on my desk, gathering pilm

  Perhaps if I had tried a career in music?

  But they simply said that I was ageusic!

  Sure, I might not have any rhythm,

  But I sound a lot better than a load of smitham

  Everything I do ends in chaos

  It’s enough to make me seek a naos

  And now to bring this rhyme to a circle 

  Everyone who likes purple should just hurkle!

  Technical Aspect: Every rhyming word is one generally considered to have no rhyme (e.g. orange, purple).

  Explanation: Originally titled “Least”, this Technical Poem was to form a couple with Greatest and was set to tell of the humbling of the arrogant man (The most of the most). However, while writing the poem, it evolved beyond its origin and became a separate entity.

  I chose to use some of the words that are generally considered to have no rhyme as a means of educating my readers that they did in fact have rhyming partners, and also as a creative exercise to use words that I wouldn’t ordinarily use.

  And for those of you who don’t know:

  Blorenge – a hill in Wales

  Curple – the hindquarters of a horse

  Pilm – dust

  Ageusic – having no sense of taste (fun fact, I have Anosmia, meaning I have no sense of smell)

  Smitham – small lumps of ore

  Naos – the inner sanctum of a temple

  Hurkle – to draw in the parts of the body (to cower)

  The more you know, the more you think you know!

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  Fade

  I have no hopes, no dreams

  I feel as though I am ripping at the seams

  Day after day,

  I continue to fade away

  What is the meaning of life?

  Is it filled with nothing but strife?

  Why must I persist?

  Will I even be missed?

  I can't fight it any longer

  I am growing weaker, not stronger

  I had dreams, once upon a time

  But they are gone, lost in another rhyme

  I have lost myself, all is the same

  Do I even have a name?

  My only salvation lies with the blade

  Now, truly, it is time for me to fade

  Technical Aspect: The first line of the poem is written in size 16 font. It then decreases by 1 font size with every line until it reaches size 1 font (please note: some devices might upscale the font to a larger size, distorting this poem).

  Explanation: Fade is one of my most visually striking poems, and with its unusual structure entwining very nicely with its depressing subject matter, it is also one of my favourites.

  As the words themselves fade from view, so too does the life of the person who has given up on everything. Only by taking an interest and making an effort to learn more about the person (in this case, by zooming in on the last few lines) is their fate revealed. To me, this was poignant as it highlighted how some people can suffer in silence and fade away without anyone ever noticing. Only by taking the time to talk to them are we able to understand their pain and hopefully help them through their depression.

  Let me make one thing clear: I am happy. I am happy with my job, my future prospects and my relationships. Fade, in all its depressing glory, is a testament to the creative mind and the ability to write about a subject that I have no personal experience with.

  Below I have included the original version with every line set to size 12 font for easier reading.